The Wontor
Artist depiction of the fearsome yet oft misunderstood Wontor

The Wontor: legendary, mysterious, at times ferocious and hungry, at times tender and sensitive. Who is he? Where did he come from? Not even the Wontor himself can answer these questions. But none the less, his tales are told and passed on among the countless faithful. Those who wait. Those who watch the mounds for his return. They long for the day when he will once again vanquish such villains as Nedjedlo and his own offspring and rid the world of horrendous atrocities like his sack full of spiders. When there will once again be a phone number the president can call and hear a deep toned "Hello, Wontor speaking." But until that time the chronicles will be circulated, the mounds will be watched, and the word "fondle" will be spoken with reverence.
A description of the Wontor:

The Wontor is a 6-foot tall creature resembling a frog covered with course hair and having a rat's tail. Over the course of his epic adventures, the Wontor's many hidden features have been revealed. Originally the Wontor was endowed with no less than six breasts and nipples. However, most of them were removed, lost, or transformed during one misadventure or another. But who is to say how many hidden glands he may truly possess.

The Wontor also has two large, mouse-like ears that are virtually undetectable when they are folded down against his head, but when he puts them to use they are powerful enough to hear even his children plotting against him from another room in the still of night.

At one point, during his intergalactic travels, the Wontor was inflicted with a gigantic sack that encompassed his legs. When he finally managed to remove the malady, it burst open revealing hundreds of spiders. A hideous tale but portions of the legendary sack are said have been found and kept as relics. But be wary; many a shifty con-man has attempted to profit from the Wontor's popularity by peddling fake artifacts.

The legends of the Wontor are so numerous that we cannot even begin to scratch the surface here. He is a Lollapalooza veteran and was once a trusted presidential advisor. He has traveled through time to become a master assassin trained in the art of ninjitsu. But where is he now and when will he return? No one can know these answers. It is traditionally believed that he has returned to his home in northern Wisconsin in the vicinity of Wausaukee where he has chosen a resting-place buried deep beneath the legendary and awe-inspiring tit mounds. There he will wait until a time when he sees fit to return.

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